A Godly option to deal with "stuff” in the heat of the moment.

  1. Choose not to leave.
    If you must leave to cool down or get control of your tongue, tell your spouse or the other person what you’re doing and that you will be back. If it is longer than five minutes, give them a time when you will come back to talk. Stay in the battle. If you are tempted to physically leave or emotionally withdraw or shut down–don’t!

  2. Stand back to back. Ask Jesus to come as the Wonderful Counselor and pray (in tongues) for a few minutes until you feel a slight shift in your spirit or emotions.

  3. Remain standing. Take turns nailing to the cross whatever you’re feeling that is not from God. Break agreements with it and ask the Father to send it away–out loud!


    “In the name of Jesus, I nail (anger, frustration, separation, accusation, fear, rejection) to the cross of Jesus.”
    “I break all agreements I’ve made with it.”
    “I ask You, Father, to send away from me.”

  4. Now turn and face one another, holding hands (if you are married). Discuss the issues respectfully, not joining with accusation and anger, etc.

  5. If discussion is going well, finish. But if not, stop and declare the truth about what you are dealing with. Start with overall truths about yourself and your marriage or relationship. Then get specific. Don’t rush this.

  6. If either spouse/person needs to ask forgiveness, do so.