FORGIVENESS

This tool is an aide in helping you lead yourself or another person through forgiveness. If you’re leading another person, have them participate with you in adding things that they need to forgive.

True forgiveness goes beyond simply forgiving someone for their behavior and the wrong they did. Forgiveness involves forgiving someone for all of the hurt and pain they have caused, as well as the effects of those hurts in your life.

Count on Holy Spirit releasing prophetic words and discernment to you beyond your own understanding. Step out, take a risk and watch what Holy Spirit will do with these steps:

1. Father God, thank you for forgiving me for all my sins. Because of your forgiveness, I also forgive ____________________.

2. ____________________, I forgive you for the lies the enemy brought to me as a result of your actions or words.
   
   Listen to Holy Spirit and say the lies as they come in each of these categories below.
   
   Lies about:
   ... Myself... (name the lies about yourself)
   ... My relationships... (name the lies about your relationships)
   ... My view of men/women... (name the lies about this)
   ... My view of marriage... (name the lies about marriage)
   ... My view of motherhood/fatherhood... (name the lies here)
   ... My view of God... (name the lies about God)
   ... (Other)... (name any other lies)
    

3. ___________________, I forgive you for bringing fear into my life.
   (For example: Fear of intimacy, failure, being alone, death, not being enough, fear of man... these are just some examples. Listen to what Holy Spirit is saying about this situation.)

   Fear of ___________________
   Fear of___________________
   Fear of ____________..., etc.
    

4. ___________________, I forgive you for opening the door to:
   (For example: Anger, self-hatred, passivity, accusation, feelings of worthlessness, shame, self-protection, sexual perversion, shutting down, depression, the occult... these are just some examples. Listen to what Holy Spirit is saying about this situation.)

   Opening the door to ___________________
   Opening the door to ___________________
   Opening the door to ____________..., etc.
    

5. _______________, I forgive you for the lack of:
   (For example: Protection, love, nurturing, relationship, knowing me, affection, attention, care, stability, etc... these are just some examples. Listen to what Holy Spirit is saying about this situation.)

   Lack of ___________________
   Lack of ___________________
   Lack of ____________..., etc.
    

6. ________________, I forgive you for all of the effects of the pain and suffering that I've had to deal with [throughout my life] because of what you did.

7. Pray and bless the person that you just forgave.
    

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This is an example of what it might look like to go through this Forgiveness Tool:

A woman was sexually abused by her father as a young girl. Below is an example of what forgiving her father might look like:

“Father God, thank you for forgiving me of all my sins. Because of your forgiveness, I also forgive you, Dad.

Dad, I forgive you for being the perpetrator and not my protector.
 

I forgive you for not knowing me or caring about me in the ways I needed.

I forgive you for bringing me a bad example of what a father is, causing me to live in fear of you.

I forgive you for causing me to mistrust and even hate men.

I forgive you for misrepresenting God to me.                   

I forgive you for opening a door for the enemy to lie and tell me God is like you.
 

I forgive you for leaving me feeling dirty and like I’m damaged goods.

I forgive you for making it so easy for me to shut down emotionally, believing the lie that shutting down will protect me.
 

I forgive you for giving me such a skewed view of marriage. 

I forgive you for leaving me terrified of real intimacy. 

I forgive you for your part of making intimacy scary resulting in trouble in my marriage because I fear my husband will be like you. 
I forgive you for hurting me by not loving and cherishing my mother.
I forgive you for giving me such a skewed view of marriage.
 

Below is an example of what blessing her father might look like:

“Lord, I ask You to help my father with his sexual addiction. I thank You for the good things that You placed in him. Please help him to fully surrender to You, to receive Your forgiveness and to live in sexual purity.”